where's my apron???

i'm like a little tv housewife lately...

today i cleaned and cleaned until the kitchen and 2 tv rooms were spotless. then i went and did the grocery shopping with the money the man of the house (dad) provided me with (cos i have none). then i fixed dinner and got tomorrows meal ready. now all i need are a couple of kids to pick up from school and maybe a minivan!

truth is i feel as though i should be earning my keep somehow. i'm not paying rent and i'm living out of my parents pocket so i figure i can clean the house at least. and besides, i'm that incredibly bored it's actually fun. but that probably has more to do with the fact i spent half the time dancing to extremely loud music and the cleaning is just a bonus if i happen to be dancing with a vacuum cleaner in hand.

tomorrow i'll do the washing and clean the bathrooms to the musical stylings of Ozomatli. ooOOooOooo i finally linked something. those guys deserve it. warning though, its mainly in spanish and makes you shake your ass!

*singin* "En la vida hay dos cosas ciertas..."

roll up!

wait for it...

i'm making a board game *smiles like i'm all proud of myself*

no really!

the other night i went out to dinner with the old civic crowd to a little cafe in newtown. it turned out to be a 'welcome back nat' thing which was nice, i didn't realise it was in my honor. so anyway, we had a nice dinner, caught up and then went back to sarah's house to play the 'friends' board game (based on the tv show when monica and rachel lose their apartment). basically the idea behind it is 'how well do you know your friends' and there are cards with questions on them and one person reads out a question and the other team has to put a card with either 'yes or no' face down on the table. then the person reading the question answers whether it is yes or no and if you got it right, you get a point. (we played the 18+ version so its all about sex and relationships etc) so we played that game and laughed hysterically until every single one of us had answered every single question the game offers. which now means we can never play that game again. so i've decided to make a game of our own.

so far its a drinking game, its called the piss pot (i made a game like that before but this will be bigger and better). its for adults only, its board layout is like monopoly but there's no property involved. the 'chance' and 'community chest' cards will be more of the 'would you rather...' and 'have you ever...' variety. and most importantly... making it will keep me from climbing the walls for a week or so. if you have any ideas or can come up with any risque questions/would you rather, e-mail me.

"we're all gonna dieeeeeeeee" (i'm sure its from a movie)

i'm telling you something weird is happening. i can come to no other conclusion except that it's armageddon... unfortunately bruce willis is nowhere in sight.

you may be wondering what has brought me to this theory... well i will tell you.

today my father handed me the keys to the fairly new astra convertible (which i have previously not been allowed to breath on) and said "here, you drive" .*GASP*.

maybe it was his way of paying me back for nearly giving him a heart attack when i turned up in the restaurant for his birthday (i was meant to be overseas). he gave me one back! at 22! then i wondered if he had consumed a lethal amount of alcohol at easter lunch and he was in some kind of delirium. i was half right, he consumed too much alcohol at lunch (although not quite enough to warrant delirium). even so, while my mother had also had a few glasses of wine i'm sure she was capable of driving. i stood there dumbfounded for a moment and then an image of me behind the wheel of the convertible flashed through my mind... the top down, my sunglasses on, the wind blowing my hair, cute men driving along side me... in this fantasy however the car was red, i was blond and weighed considerably less (not quite sure what happened there). however i knew better to hesitate any longer, any second he would sober up enough to realise letting me behind the wheel while i was still reminding myself which side of the road i should be driving on was not the best idea. scrap that, letting me behind the wheel at all was not high on his list of 'things to do'. however, i do believe it featured on his 'only if hell freezes over' list though. but i'm sure 'take the mother in law on month long cruise with me' and 'rid myself of my male appendages' came before it.

i got to drive all the way home with the most gorgeous view of the harbor, MY music playing (drivers choice), the wind blowing in my hair, the sun was shining... over all it was 20 minutes of pure perfection.

so that is why i believe the world is coming to an end and as a result some strange cosmic force is screwing with my dads head. its the only logical explanation i can come up with!

LIAR! (the way boyface says it)

yanno that annoying saying people throw in your face when you want them to just do something for you when your having difficulty with it instead of take the time to master it yourself? and they take on the noble "i'm doing this for you" shit when in reality they just don't want to do it either?? i think it goes...

"give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime"

or something like that???

well it's all crap!!!

i know how to fish, i can catch fish just fine. but i'm still not eating cos I DUNNO HOW TO COOK IT. ok well obviously i could just throw it in a fry pan or something and it would technically cook and i'd technically be eating. but i want it a certain way!

yanno what... this has got to be the most pointless thing i have EVER written. i might leave it here just to set a new record.

purely for the e-bay junkies

ok you guys (you know i'm talking to you 3 in particular)

click here for your new theme song.

and they just pull me back in!

wwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell. it's started!!!

i did what i said i was going to do. i stabbed myself in the eye with a fork, shot myself in the foot, bit the bullet, swallowed my pride and went back to civic video. 'sure thing' she says when i ask if there are any available shifts, 'but not for about a week'. ok no problem! i'll spend this week catching up with people i never got to see because i spent my life in that store before i left the country. AND - most importantly, i'll get to meet L & B properly when we all have dinner with A. so its all set, friday night we're having dinner at L & B's.

thursday afternoon i'm talking to A who says she had been into civic video and was told i was most likely starting the next day (when i'm meant to be having dinner). 'not bloody likely!!!' we both laugh, especially since the boss said 'not for a week' and hadn't bothered to ring me to ASK if i was free the next night. but thats ok, because she can just ring at 7pm thursday night and guilt trip me into it. i was fine! i was taking a stand! and thats when she said it "you'd be doing it for Kate, (had a bad experience at work the previous night and i don't blame her for wanting a day off) and as a personal favour to me" ie. just like im doing you a favour and giving you a job. bugger!!!

thankfully L, B & A were very understanding and kind (it may have helped that a cheesecake was already waiting in the wings for them) we had lunch instead and B's cooking was definitely worth the wait! (they've been dangling it in front of me for months). the enjoyable morning was the ONLY way i survived my first day back at work.

to begin with, they don't have a uniform for me anymore or my name tag. so i felt like a dag in my 'stunt uniform'. then they put me on with a girl who's been there for 2 weeks, on a public holiday, on a friday night, for an 8 hour shift, while the computers are still crashing regularly. ah huh... welcome back! the customers where divided into 4 distinct groups. those who didn't give a rats that i was back, those who were excited to see me back and would walk in screaming 'your back... how was it' causing everyone to look at me. those who were insulted they didn't know i was back and would stand there screaming 'when did you get in? you didn't tell me??' causing everyone to look at me. now ordinarily i don't mind attention, damn sometimes i just down right love it. but when you feel like a dag and your brain is still on vacation and your body is wondering what happened to all that sweet alcohol that made it feel so relaxed... attention is not what your after! the fourth group are those who either don't remember me or are new. they were the people i grew to love tonight.

oh, and somehow i got roped into working easter sunday! as i said... it starts.

*warning* quite possibly contains 'too much' informaiton

ok we're all adults here (if you are not, don't read this post!).

we all know that occasionally adults (some more than others and others not at all!) enjoy a bit of casual sex at times. thats fine! i respect that! hell i'm guilty of that! however, when did casual sex/no strings attached become the assumed arrangement??? it used to be civilised. you meet someone, you flirt and straight out they say 'listen i'm not looking for anything serious right now, i just want to have some fun' and you are left with the option to proceed or back out BEFORE you've pictured what you'll wear on your first date.

these days i'm finding that you should consider yourself lucky if they assume there is a date on the agenda. is it just that australian men are too cheap to buy a girl a drink? or is it just me and i have a sign on my head saying "booty call", and i wasn't aware of it. perhaps i just never noticed it before because i wasn't interested in a relationship (the few that have managed to call me a girlfriend have had to work for it). maybe i've had a casual overload in the last 5 months whilst traveling (i don't mean there were a lot of them, i just mean they were ALL casual - except if you count nearly falling in love with a french guy and a colin farrell look a like as 'meaningful'). or maybe i've just grown up a little and realised i want a side of intimacy with my booty! the least we could do as civilised adults is let someone know when intimacy is not on the menu, that way you don't waste time considering how it would taste.

don't get me wrong i'm still not interested in a serious relationship. however, talking to someone for HOURS on end for the past week, to find out that since the beginning his intentions were always 'to can call each other when either of us wants sex' makes me wonder why the hell would i care what your favorite colour is then?!?! was it always that cold and calculated? i want a person who cares about me as a friend, can hang out just to hang out, will give me a hug. if we happen to fall into bed every now and then so be it. and if you meet someone else that you want to have a serious relationship with, you could still consider each other 'friends'. does that exist anymore??? did it ever? or did i just unknowingly play some poor bastard who thought i was his girlfriend. eek!

NB. the slight bitter overtone to this post has been noted, was unable to be removed successfully, and exists only because i'm losing faith in mankind (extreme i know)... not because i got taken for a ride. there has been no ride, i was clued in before i booked a seat on the ride.

welcome to my family

its been an interesting day for funny encounters with the family. (ok i'll admit, they may not be that funny for you but since i haven't seen my family for the last 5 months, it made me smile)

my dad came home early to try and register the car and go to the dentist.

*actually lets pause for a little back story. when i got home (a week ago) i realised my dad had either shrunk, or i got taller. so i was teasing him about being short (as you do) and told him that when americans asked me what my dad was like i said 'short but cute', and mum 'acts like a 2 yr old' ... back to the story

so we went to the shop together and on the way the usual conversation of how he has done this and that and that for me blah blah blah, spent so much money blah blah blah came up. the registration on the car he just gave me is going to be like $500 or something and because i have no money, he has to pay it for now. i told him to add it to the list of what i owe him and he began his tirade again.

{dad} 'i put a new motor in this car, it cost me -blah blah-, new brakes, new -enter stuff i don't remember here-'.

i started my tirade back at him...

{me} 'i know dad, i appreciate it i do. i know you do a lot for us you don't have to, how many other people would be given a car 2 days after they come back for nothing. i told you already that i told everyone in america that i had the best dad in the world'


{dad - outta nowhere} 'yeah, cept i'm short and dumpy'

{me - dying of laughter} 'cute dad, it was short and cute!'

then it was my brothers turn. he rang at about 5pm to ask what i was doing tonight... (he NEVER does that)

{joe} hey, what are you doing tonight *see i told you i wasn't lying*
{nat} coming over to bring you your money *i owed him some*
{joe} awe cool, you wanna come for dinner? i'm cooking a roast
{nat} i'm cooking a roast, you guys come here
{joe} whats yours
{nat} pork... whats yours
{joe} pork
{nat} mines already in the oven
{joe} but mines already in the oven too... i've got sweet potato
{nat} i've got 2 types of sweet potato
{joe} damn you
{nat} woohoo i win!

3 hours later.... i walk into his apartment, the roast is sitting on the bench waiting for his girlfriend

{joe} check out my roast
{nat} mine was better than yours

the third and final exchange takes place between my mum and i. i just had my haircut today and i have to say i've never liked a haircut so much. for years i've been wanting layers and my hairdresser (actually a friend of mine so we will love her unconditionally anyway) said i shouldn't do it because my hair is fine etc etc.. when i went to this new lady today i said i wanted some movement and she goes 'lets put layers in' woohoo!!!! she just scored 10 points. so i've been flicking and swishing my hair all over the place all day, tossing my head like i'm some kinda charlies angel. well my mum comes home and i'm like:

{me} look at my hair, look at my hair
{mum} wow
{me} no mum look *swish, flick, toss*
{mum} yeah its nice
{me} i look so pretty (i can say that, it was only to my mum)
{mum} as long as you think so nat (^^aparently i can't)
{me} =O
{mum} *laughing hysterically*
{me} thats it! forgetting how to spell my name, telling me i'm ugly... you are no longer my mother!... DDDDAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD!!
{mum} *still laughing* awe sweetie pieeeeee
{me} *swish, flick, toss*

i guess i only have myself to blame. i taught her how to be that mean.
excuse me
*flick*

a step closer to reality

i'm not quite there yet. i still have absolutely nothing to do each day and am finding that its actually quite boring. today i drove to wetherill park just to visit my cousin at work for 20 mins and tell him i'm back. a phone call would have done it, but i decide to go for a 30 min drive instead... it may have even been more than that. i've decided that i will bite the bullet, swallow my pride, stab myself in the eyeball and go back to civic for a few shifts a week. all you civicans can say i told you so etc later but be aware, i'm armed! ok i'm not but i can hit really hard with my fists!! *warning glare*. i need money, i need it right now, i can do the job with my eyes closed, i can still look for another job anyway but at least i'll get some money for now, i'll get to see some of the customers i used to like (and date some of them too), i'll get to work with kate and mon again (the rest of you bastards left), and i wont have to pay to rent dvds (a scary prospect)...

does it sound like i'm trying to convince myself this is a good idea to anyone else as well???

on a more exciting note, i have a list of cheesecakes i would like to make and need to pick one. to make this decision i'm calling for help from the cheesecake queen (miss A) and her dear friends B and L as they will be consuming what A will let them get their hands on when we all have dinner (and we will... or no cheesecake!). the choices (note - i haven't made any of these before and am not sure if they will turn out)
* chocolate marble cheesecake (baked)
* oreo cheesecake (baked)
* new york cheesecake (baked)
* marsbar cheesecake (not baked)
* nestle cheesecake (made with condensed milk and a bit of lemon, not baked)

oh the cheesecake choices... what a dilemma

around the world in 32 hours

for those of you that don't know... i'm back.

i got a train from DC to NY, a plane from NY to london, 4 hours in the airport then another plane from london to thailand, 2 hours in thailand airport then another plane to sydney. i literally went around the world in 32 hours and all to make it back in time for my dads birthday. that way i don't have to buy him a present. sarah picked me up from the airport which was lucky since my brother was also meant to be there and forgot. we rang him from the terminal and asked where he was cos we wanted to leave and his response was "i thought it was tomorrow". D#$&HEAD. it was a shock when i got off the plane, the accent threw me (the aussie accent sounded SO fake to me at first) then the smell of sydney air just before it rains, and i was hyperactive from exhaustion. THEN i had to drive because i borrowed my brothers girlfriends car and i found that even though i didn't do much driving overseas (all of 2 times) i had gotten used to being on the right side of the road and i had to stop and think about which side of the road i had to be turning onto when i went around a corner. very strange but all better now, so you don't have to worry about running into me on the road... or me running into you to be accurate.

the actual birthday surprise itself was fun. i hid out at sarahs house for 2 nights until my dads birthday. that night they were going to a restaurant for dinner so i got there first and hid around the corner near the bathrooms. i had explained to the waitress what i was doing so that when my parents got there (my brother and his girlfriend were already seated) she could tell me and i would come out. once they had arrived and were seated i walked out into the middle of the restaurant and said 'happy birthday dad', and gave him a kiss. my mum started crying, my dad just laughed and was in shock for an hour. he just kept looking at me as though if he took his eyes off me i'd disappear back to the states. since i got back i've been randomly surprising people and its become addictive.

once i got back to my house i've noticed quite a few changes... for one my mother forgot how to spell my name. yanno, the one she GAVE me when i was BORN and has been spelling for the last 22 years!!! she was like, has it got an e? *pointing to my name she spelt natali* new phones, new coffee machine, new massive big screen tv with surround sound ect, premium foxtel with all the movie channels, a paper shredder... who needs a paper shredder??? my mother has a mobile phone (PFFT) and a note on the fridge to remind her to take mobile phone with her (HAHAHA), my room has become a home for ALL the crap in the house. i walked in and there was a discarded book shelf, laundry baskets full of cooking books, baskets with all kinds of hair products and stuff from the bathroom, every spare blanket and pillow we have, 2 mattresses and 2 counter stools. i couldn't even walk into my room!!! my brother has moved into an apartment with his girlfriend but still manages to hold bbq's at our place.

i guess it will all just take a day or two to get used too.

and for those of you who are associated in any way with civic video... do NOT tell them i am back!!! i shall surprise the girls one by one and decide when i want the big boss to know in my own time.

champagne anyone

well i was meant to be on a plane back to london on the 9th of march... it is now the 10th of march and i'm sitting in jamie's office in DC. i'm not entirely sure how it happened but i know it involved a champagne breakfast and my credit card.

i woke up and started to pack, jamie had worked the night before and went out afterwards. he had woken up still drunk and thought that a champagne breakfast would be a good idea. so he made me eggs, muffins and the champagne cocktail laced with cointreu and he had a bloody mary with his champagne cocktail (i can assure you the eyebrows were raised). so we were chatting and got into an arguement over how much it would cost for a one way ticket to london from here. since both of us were determined we were right we got on the net to see who won. both of us were stunned into silence when we saw it was under $200.. "book it" he said. so i did. then we fell asleep and slept off the champagne only to wake up and realise i'm still in washington DC and what the hell should i do now that i'm here for another week. the answer is simple my friends...
SSSSHHHHHHOOOOOPPPPPPPIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG

so i'm here for another night and then i go to NY to do some shopping with the money i have left... and my credit card. i want cowboy boots... oh yeah cowboy boots... and i want one of the pressed glass necklace things i've been seeing but was too cheap to buy. and i'll have to get another suitcase to bring it all back. oh yeah shopping.

i dont want to be italian anymore

bastards

i finally got all the paperwork they claim is needed and get to the italian consulate in washington DC only to be told they can't issue the passport in one day (like they can in sydney) and need to confirm the certificate's authenticity with sydney. now i'm thinking that london wont do it either even though they said i just need the certificate etc and they'll issue it straight away. ugh. unless a miracle occurs in the next few days i'll be home within a week.

san francisco was cool, i met up with a friend i met in chicago and he took me around the city. we went to treasure island and over the golden gate bridge and to alcatraz. it was all very cool and its a beautiful place. if i had ever gotten sentenced to life in a maximum security prison i would have been requesting alcatraz. the view from the prison is amazing and aparently they had pretty good food.

the grand canyon was breathtaking. i thought it would be something to see but i wasn't prepared for it. i tried to buy a postcard but it just doesn't capture it. the layers and the colours are unbelievable. its damn cold though!

vegas was interesting. i didn't have money to gamble and i didn't intend on staying but got stuck there overnight anyway. a guy tried to convince me to get in his ute for about 5 mins while i was waiting for the bus and it got to the point where i was dragging me suitcases away from the side of the road so he couldn't grab them/me. he eventually left. then in the 10 min bus ride i saw 4 people get arrested in 3 seperate incidents. vegas is not a place to be by yourself. i didn't get to see the dancing fountains cos they stop at midnight and i was there at 1am, but i went to all 3 casinos featured in "oceans 11", even if i didn't gamble in them it was fun.

LA, well to be honest i wasn't that impressed with LA. i was in hollywood and the place is a bit of a hole. i would refuse to go there if i was a star. yet thats where they hold the oscars, litterally 1 block down from my hostel on hollywood blvd. speaking of the hole of a hostel i was in has anyone ever heard of a shower not having COLD water??? i mean i know you run out of hot but COLD??? we had 2 options, hot and scalding. and there was steam rising out of the toilet and your bum got a facial anytime you went... well, technically its a bumcial. anyway i stood outside the oscars and saw all the stars arrive. i couldn't go anywhere anyway because they shut all the public transport down and you have to go through security check anytime you go from one block to the next. combine that with the THOUSANDS of people that turn up to check the stars out and you just can't go anywhere. i got to see people like renee zelwegger, charlize theron, kate winslet, tim robbins, kate blanchette, usher, hillary swank... a whoooole lot more. i heard people screaming for johnny depp but i couldn't see him. it was a good time and i went out that night with a friend of jamies (straight, an actor and damn cute) and got incredibly drunk with him.

i'm kinda pissed off at the whole having to go home thing so i'm gonna go cuddle up to jamie on the couch and watch a movie. oh yeah, its snowing here. which wouldn't be much of a suprise if it hadn't been the most beautiful sunny and warm day yesterday. i'm talking t-shirt weather and then overnight its back to the gloves and scarves. strange. jamie was like "well we have four distinct seasons here" and i was like "yeah but not within a week!"

she's alive.. ALIVE

just a quick note to those e-mailing me asking if i'm still alive cos i haven't blogged... yes i am. i've been having a really good time but spending a LOT of time on trains so haven't had a chance to blog but i'll try and do it later tonight.... (i'm at a fancy smancy graphic design office and should probably get out of here)