"we're all gonna dieeeeeeeee" (i'm sure its from a movie)
i'm telling you something weird is happening. i can come to no other conclusion except that it's armageddon... unfortunately bruce willis is nowhere in sight.
you may be wondering what has brought me to this theory... well i will tell you.
today my father handed me the keys to the fairly new astra convertible (which i have previously not been allowed to breath on) and said "here, you drive" .*GASP*.
maybe it was his way of paying me back for nearly giving him a heart attack when i turned up in the restaurant for his birthday (i was meant to be overseas). he gave me one back! at 22! then i wondered if he had consumed a lethal amount of alcohol at easter lunch and he was in some kind of delirium. i was half right, he consumed too much alcohol at lunch (although not quite enough to warrant delirium). even so, while my mother had also had a few glasses of wine i'm sure she was capable of driving. i stood there dumbfounded for a moment and then an image of me behind the wheel of the convertible flashed through my mind... the top down, my sunglasses on, the wind blowing my hair, cute men driving along side me... in this fantasy however the car was red, i was blond and weighed considerably less (not quite sure what happened there). however i knew better to hesitate any longer, any second he would sober up enough to realise letting me behind the wheel while i was still reminding myself which side of the road i should be driving on was not the best idea. scrap that, letting me behind the wheel at all was not high on his list of 'things to do'. however, i do believe it featured on his 'only if hell freezes over' list though. but i'm sure 'take the mother in law on month long cruise with me' and 'rid myself of my male appendages' came before it.
i got to drive all the way home with the most gorgeous view of the harbor, MY music playing (drivers choice), the wind blowing in my hair, the sun was shining... over all it was 20 minutes of pure perfection.
so that is why i believe the world is coming to an end and as a result some strange cosmic force is screwing with my dads head. its the only logical explanation i can come up with!
you may be wondering what has brought me to this theory... well i will tell you.
today my father handed me the keys to the fairly new astra convertible (which i have previously not been allowed to breath on) and said "here, you drive" .*GASP*.
maybe it was his way of paying me back for nearly giving him a heart attack when i turned up in the restaurant for his birthday (i was meant to be overseas). he gave me one back! at 22! then i wondered if he had consumed a lethal amount of alcohol at easter lunch and he was in some kind of delirium. i was half right, he consumed too much alcohol at lunch (although not quite enough to warrant delirium). even so, while my mother had also had a few glasses of wine i'm sure she was capable of driving. i stood there dumbfounded for a moment and then an image of me behind the wheel of the convertible flashed through my mind... the top down, my sunglasses on, the wind blowing my hair, cute men driving along side me... in this fantasy however the car was red, i was blond and weighed considerably less (not quite sure what happened there). however i knew better to hesitate any longer, any second he would sober up enough to realise letting me behind the wheel while i was still reminding myself which side of the road i should be driving on was not the best idea. scrap that, letting me behind the wheel at all was not high on his list of 'things to do'. however, i do believe it featured on his 'only if hell freezes over' list though. but i'm sure 'take the mother in law on month long cruise with me' and 'rid myself of my male appendages' came before it.
i got to drive all the way home with the most gorgeous view of the harbor, MY music playing (drivers choice), the wind blowing in my hair, the sun was shining... over all it was 20 minutes of pure perfection.
so that is why i believe the world is coming to an end and as a result some strange cosmic force is screwing with my dads head. its the only logical explanation i can come up with!
posted by nat at 11:55 pm
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