by god she did it!!

i always knew my brothers girlfriend had many talents... the mere fact she puts up with my brother is by far the most astounding, until now.

the girl managed to successfully straighten my hair.

i can actually run my fingers through it... it looks so shiny, and straight, and its soft, and straight and its straight... omg look its straight!!!

i never want to wash my hair again (so it'll stay straight)... but i will... or will i???

my darling brother... pt 2

(my impressive news readers voice)

this just in... E-bay has struck again!!!

the latest victim is 25 (26??) year old Joseph xxxxxxxx, known affectionately to his sister as Joby, was recently diagnosed as an e-bay addict.

"i don't know how it happened" his sister tearfully told us in an exclusive interview. "i can only blame myself really... i bought this mp3 player on e-bay before i went overseas. he thought it was really cool so i hooked him up with his own account. i never thought it would come to this though"

It has been reported that Joseph receives an astonishing 2-3 packages per week. some may wonder why this bothers his sister Natalie so much, after all it is his own money.

"well the thing is he lives in a little apartment with a tiny mailbox. so he gets his packages sent to our place. he calls me 2-3 times a day to check the mail to see if it has arrived yet. and we have a long driveway up a hill so its annoying for me... he doesn't even ring to say hello anymore its always about the packages".

Not a big ask some would think. but as Natalie explains thats not all he asks her to do.

"sometimes, if he isn't at home to do it himself, he rings me to sit at my computer and bid for him when the auction is about to close. i never wanted to get involved" we had to take a short break as natalie broke down at this point, but after collecting herself she added in a small voice "and sometimes i have to drive the stuff over to him".

it has gone so far that the last known item to be purchased by joby was in fact, camouflage printed beer holders. when Natalie was informed of this she cried "who does that??"

hmm.. good question. a sad story about a brave young girl. you can find out more about e-bay at www.ebay.com.au but as this story proves, you might not get out unscathed.

thats all for rock-the-kazbar news this evening... goodnight.

my darling brother...

now i know that we all have different talents. but only my brother can ask me for a favor while managing to imply (point out??) i am wasting my life and have nothing better to do anyway...

(phone rings sometime during the day)

[brother aka joby] Why are you home so much?

[me] cos i'm not working 19 days in a row like i used to. i only do 4 shifts a week and its mainly on the weekends.

[joby] why?

[me] cos i'm not the manager anymore

[joby] so how much do you get paid?

[me] (wanting to tell him to get &$^%ed) $xx.xx an hour, is that ok???

[joby] yeah. i have a favor to ask... (uses his sweet, i'm a nice brother to you voice)

[me] and what would that be?

[joby] i need you to come and sit in our house all day one day next week to let the plumber in. only he can't tell me what time he's coming so you need to be there all day. you'd have access to a computer, with a high speed internet connection...

[me] you don't need to try and bribe me with shit like that.

[joby] i mean really nat, what do you do at home all day anyway?

[me] clean...

(i get cut off before i can get the rest of the list out)

[joby] well you can clean over here!!!

(even though he shits me i managed to laugh at that)

[me] thats sweet joe.

wow its been a while

and i hate when people do that. i think its irresponsible blogging. nothing more frustrating then checking peoples blogs every couple of days (or every day when i've got nothing better to do) and getting the same old post popping up over and over again.

but anyway...

things i am obsessed with this month (week)

1. making the insanely strict diet i am on interesting.
2. sitcom re-runs on foxtel
3. my (fake) new york yankees jersey
4. my new screen saver (oh i should post about that...tomorrow)
5. learning french
6. trying to finish the painting of venice for my brothers girlfriend
7. pretending im still making an effort to clean the house when i really can't be bothered
8. trying to think of something to blog when my brain wont really function.

note to self...

dear me,

next time you go overseas for six months and consequently miss your mothers birthday AND christmas... do not work all day on mothers day once returned!
failing that, do not under any circumstances allow mother to find out that you were not ORIGINALLY rostered on said day and happened to be working because you AGREED to do someone else a favour.

oh, and if you ask her 'what's wrong' and the reply is 'i just feel a bit down', it may not be the wisest thing to say 'go play with your new vacuum cleaner'... it will not unleash the excitement you thought it would - even if it was her eagerly awaited gift of choice.

yours faithfully
the part of you that should have known better - but clearly didn't.

fun for the whole family...

i found this on Airea's

click on the link below to take my quiz. if you don't know me just guess for fun... my fun. and we all want me to have fun now don't we *shakin fist*
Take my Quiz... How well do you know me?

oh and while i'm stealing things, i got this from ms mac.

N	Neglected
A	Astounding
T	Terrific
A	Appealing
L	Loving
I	Insane
E	Enjoyable

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Neglected??? see i always said i was a neglected child
Insane??? well that's clearly because i was neglected
hahahaha... i'm appealing. yes neglected, insane people have always appealed to me too!

career woman?

So last night i was explaining to L, B & A that i was thinking of becoming an ex-civic chick for good and looking for another job. however, i said i didn't want anything that would give me opportunities of 'moving up' or managing or anything as i didn't want to be stuck - i just want money. i might want to go overseas next year again or back to uni (more likely overseas). the only thing is i'm 22 and have only done 1 year of university. friends i went to school with have completed their course and some have done honors as well... AND gone overseas in the middle of it all. i have a little voice in my head telling me i should get my act together.

ignoring that i pick up the 'My Career' section of the Sydney Morning Herald to look for another pointless money making part-time job that most likely won't be in a field i wish to stay in... when i spot the heading...
'Oops, I forgot to get a real job' subtitle 'Short-term jobs are fine - until you hit a certain age, writes Lilian McCombs'. DAMMIT LILIAN!!!

just call me betty crocker

what do you do at 10pm at night???
get ready for bed? watch a little t.v? maybe read a book? if your lucky get lucky?
well in our house it seems we cook! who bakes a cake at 10pm at night??? especially one that has to be in the oven for over an hour... me, thats who. it just so happens that my dad (we are too much alike) decided that 10pm is a perfect time to pickle olives.

now our kitchen is pretty big. the stove is in the middle on an island so 2 people can comfortably cook at one time. and there is plenty of bench space. only dad and i are the kind of people that for eg. i'm cooking, then the kitchen is mine! so at 10pm we are arguing over who has the right to use the kitchen.
[me] dad i'm trying to bake a cake
[dad] i'm trying to make olives
[me] i have to bake this cake, i'm taking it to someone's house for dinner tomorrow and i'm working 9-5. it has to get done now!
[dad] i have to get these in the jar cos i want to eat them tomorrow
[me] just let me get it in the oven and you can do it then
[dad] its my kitchen
[me] not when i'm cooking its not
[dad] its my kitchen
[me] dammit!

so 10:30 rolls round and i finally have access to the kitchen, go to the draw to pull out the cake tin and nothing...
[me] mum wheres the cake tin???
[mum] ali has it (my brothers girlfriend)
[me] dammit
*rings joe and drives to his house to get the cake tin*... ya see, i'm all determined to bake this cake now.

so now its nearly 11pm and i'm mixing things in the bowl. i have my cake tin and all is good when i go to the pantry for bi-carb soda... and nothing...
[me] OMG where is the bi-carb??????? there was a WHOLE BOX... it's a STAPLE!!!
[dad] breath... breath... *goes through the entire pantry for it*.. we did have some
[me] am i going to have to go to bi-lo for it?
[dad] you could wake mum up, but i wouldn't... she might kill you.
now there's an incentive!

so i drove to bi-lo for half a teaspoon of bi-carb soda... at 11pm at night. to bake a bloody cake. it wasn't about the cake anymore though, i started it and i wanted to finish it.

now it's nearly midnight and i have another 45 mins till its ready. this better be one damn good cake.

UPDATE: i was up until about 2am waiting for the cake to cook (apparently it was over 2 hours, not 1 hour in the oven) but it turned out pretty good. i thought it wasn't quite mudcake consistancy (even though it was damn heavy according to B) but for my first attempt cooking a mudcake it was good.

what can i say...

as i was going through some old photo's yesterday i thought that since my posts have been a tad bitter/unhappy lately, we could all have a good laugh... at my expense. all i have to say in my defense is, i like to dress up... *hangs head in shame*

rabbit
Originally uploaded by pulpish.

That IS actually me in there. i ran around a busy shopping complex dressed as a bunny. mainly to make an unhappy friend laugh at work, but also because i'm strange and wanted to do it.

one of our 'dress up and run around the beach' episodes on our annual beachside holiday. (friends, not family). i LOVE those glasses!

same holiday. it was raining, so we dressed up and went bowling instead. i'm wearing fairy wings as well. i think we scared the locals.

this was taken at our pirate party. i don't have my hat, eye patch and sword on but don't i look smashing in the beard.

annual beachside holiday again (previous year i believe). gotta love the fairy wings with a medievil dress. the locals were all watching us from their balcony's.


and last but not least... presenting you with my absolute favourite...

i have 2 pillows in there i swear!!! my friend and i getting ready for another friends 21st. i was tweedledum in this duo (the name is on the hat) and quite fitting i think.

Download Limit????????????

for the last few days i've been staring at my computer longingly... gently brushing the keys with my fingertips but sadly, not able to touch it. WHY?? i hear you ask... who in Gods name would be so cruel as to deny me? my father + bigpond.

apparently we have a download limit (pfffffffft) and apparently i reached it... 4 whole days before the month roles over!!! thats what the rude pop up message said when i turned the computer on on wednesday anyway (bastards). i promptly rang father and enquired when and why this occured (it was more like... 'dad... wtf? is this right? why would you do that?') and then rang bigpond to find a better plan for dad (ie. me). now all i have to do is convince dad it benifits him to pay an extra $10 a month.. hmmm... any suggestions?