The Great Explorer

I found a new way to discover the city you live in.

Some may choose to go for a walk and see where the wind will take them. Others may prefer to buy a travel book and pretend they are a tourist in their own city. I on the other hand, buy a death trap of a car off my brother and get stranded in a random suburb nowhere near my house!

So here I am, leaving the city area during peak hour. I've just managed to make it to the middle lane of a 5 lane motorway and the traffic is managing to do 80km per/hour. 'Brilliant' I think, 'I'll make it home in plenty of time for the 'State of Origin'... PFFT!

This is the moment when all these funny lights start flashing on my fully lowered, fully sick Commodore bro'.

My car has conked out.

I'm frantically reaching for the hazard lights button.

I'm peering in my rearview mirror to make sure the car behind me isn't going to continue to drive straight over me, (when I say fully lowered, I mean fully lowered... bro')

When I come to a stop, I try to restart the car.... nothing.

*insert blasphemy here*

*and here*

Cars are swerving past me, the owners with their hands pressed firmly on their car horns and anger in their eyes. Like I WANT to be sitting in the middle of a 5 lane motorway with cars whizzing past me and the threat of someone running straight up my ass! Fuckers!

Eventually the lovely RTA men arrived to tow me off the motorway free of charge, *shout out to the nice RTA men!*, and dumped me in a side street somewhere in the Crows Nest area. Now, I knew it was an electrical problem with the car and I just had to wait it out and it would start again. So... I went for a stroll.

I found oodles of nice restaurants and great smelling takeout places that I would love to go back to. But the highlight of my night was when I found a Japanese restaurant boasting happy hour and a live Sumo wrestling broadcast!!!! Helloooooooo Kushiyaki! I dunno what you are but for $6.00 I can eat you, drink beer AND watch fat men in nappies do that funny dance. Money well spent i say!

I might not get my car fixed just yet... who knows where I'll end up stranded next week.

what you say and what you do are two entirely different things!

so last you heard, i was happy with a cute cute cute boy who was treating me well. how quickly things can change FOR NO F#CKING REASON!!!

ok, maybe not NO reason. there were a couple of things that got in the way. too many people involved for one thing. they were all putting in their two cents and putting pressure on the relationship. Steve wasn't really ready to be in a relationship, he tried, but his head kept getting in the way and i got tired of 'being careful' and always worrying about if he was ok.

it was like this:

(steve) "come over... don't go... i want to meet your mum... yeh, she's my girlfriend"

(steve's thoughts) sh*t, this looks like a relationship, omg it IS a relationship.... but i didn't want to be in a relationship *scratches bald head*... calm down man just tell her that and she'll be cool...

(steve) "i'm not really sure what i want. i like you, i care about you. but i don't think i'm ready to be a boyfriend"

(nat) "ok. it's only a label. i'm fine with how we are as long as i know whats going on. you don't have to meet my mum yanno. how bout we just leave it for now and i don't call you my boyfriend"

(steve) "yeh cool. but i'll meet your mum. i want to. and in situations like that you CAN call me your boyfriend... where are you going?? please stay."

(Johnny *the room-mate*) "dude, she's your girlfriend. you spend nearly every night together... how's your girlfriend?... did you tell her mum about your girlfriend?... your being disrespectful by not calling her your girlfriend.

(steve's thoughts) sh*t but i don't want to get hurt. if i don't get in a relationship i won't get hurt. easy... don't get in a relationship. cool... sorted. whoa, that was close *wipes sweat of bald brow*... gee, i miss nat. i might call her and ask her to come over and stay for the weekend.. and perhaps the week as well. and we'll go out, and hold hands, and i'll make her dinner and she can tell me about all the things that are important to her.. and i want her to meet all my friends.. oh and i should ask her to come to that wedding thats 3 months away with me cos yanno, she'll still be around. and if a guy hits on her at arq again like last week, i'll just kiss her in front of him so he knows she's mine. then i'll take her home and hold her the entire night while we sleep. sounds good! but don't worry self... this isn't a relationship so you won't get hurt... oh but sh*t....

so i did the hardest thing possible and made his mind up for him. i couldn't even look at him when i was breaking it off. had to look at the floor. and when i looked up and saw how gorgeous and sweet he is and that he had tears in his eyes i couldn't breath. but all he could say in response was "i told you i didn't want a relationship"... well, that's true, i'll give him that.

unfamiliar territory

there is nothing quite so unnerving, yet simultaniously exhilarating, than unfamiliar territory.
the whole 'did-that-just-happen?'... 'how-the-f#!*-do-i-respond-to-that??'-ness of it all.

i find myself thinking that a lot lately... like for example when Ann decided to resurrect her blog after a year of silence... not even the sound of a lonely cricket - that was weird!
or when i was able to pull on a pair of size 12 jeans - what tha?
but the biggest head scratching, double take-ing moments are due to my new kinda-but-we're-not-callin-it relationship.

let me just tell you about him.
gorgeous!!!!!
drop dead i-wanna-do-things-to-you-playboy-would-censor sexy!!!!!

he has a shaved head, eyebrow piercing (that suits him and he doesn't look like a thug) light, light, light blue eyes with a darker blue rim around them, prison break-esqu chilsled jaw type. a little bit taller than me, broad shoulders, i-lift-heavy-things-for-a-living arms, got the V shaped torso thing happening with a toned chest/stomach and an ass like a 12 yr old boy.
this guy can make you pant.

but the best thing about him is he is a nice blend of aussie bloke 'where's mah six pack the footy's bout to start' and private school mumma's boy... meaning he has manners and knows to respect a woman and when to apologise. and he reads the newspaper... *impressed face*

sorry, i got a little side tracked. *wipes drool* as i was saying. nothing like those 'what tha?' moments... and the things i say (or don't say) to fuck them up...

i'm cruising along in this 'it's not really a relationship lets just see where it goes' thing and i get moments like this;

(me) "make sure i'm gone by 9:30am tomorrow i have to go to easter lunch"
(him) "so, do i get to come and meet the family?"
*pause while i choke on my beer*...
my response??? "well i have to tell them you exist first"... *ooops*

and..
(him) "this is the point where it goes from just being sex to something else"
(me.. in my head) *omg.. did he just say? what do i say to that? i kinda like it... quick, say something that won't freak him out... say something that isn't lame.. say something that means you agree... say something*
too late...
(him) i mean *nervous laugh* yanno... (at this point he says something non-commital that ruins the whole moment but i won't put it in cos it will give you too much of a visual)
(me) "are you ok with that?"
(him) "yeah, are you?"
(me) "yeah" (trust me though, at this point i don't know if he still means what he had originally said or if we're talkin about the non-commital visual inducing comment... just trust me, i fucked it up)

but my favourite... 'this doesn't happen to me' moment took place the other night. and i didn't fuck it up :)
i've had many bad relationships with guys who don't give a shit and treat me bad. but the other night i came home (by home i mean the boys house) at 10pm from rockclimbing where my boy was waiting up for me. it went like this;

(me) *knock knock*
(him) *opens door and gives me a kiss* hi baby, have you eaten? i could make you something.
(me *thinking*) its 10pm... and you've worked all day... and you're a boy... boys don't cook for me... they want me to do things for them... weeeird.
(me *saying*) no its ok, i grabbed something on my way home. thanks.
*i go to the bathroom, he sits back on the chair in front of the playstation, i come out from the bathroom and sit on the lounge*
(him) *still playing the playstation* how was your day?
(me *thinking*) he spoke... but the playstations on.. what did he say?.. he was asking how my day was... hmmm... interesting.
(me *sayin*) it was really weird actually.

it was at this point i freaked out! he reached over to the playstation... and put it on pause.
*waits for your massive reaction* PAUSE PEOPLE... play stations have a gravitational pull with boys. not just boys but men. anything male in it's radius is sucked in and becomes a grunting non-comprehending, deaf to a female voice shell of a man/boy... and he turned it off! but not only that. he stood up, walked over to the lounge, sat down and gave me his undivided attention.

i was shocked. i mean, i've heard about this. good guys and all. but i've never actually seen it outside of a movie. i gave him a very brief rundown of what was weird. made it concise and boy friendly.

**********This post was unfinished in draft. I've decided to go ahead and post it so you can see what was going on a month or so ago and what state i was in etc etc. I'll catch you up soon************

to finish it off though... the point of it was i was pleasently surprised by this guy. i was not expecting too much and didn't quite know how to react to moving forward and being treated well. and the biggest point guys.... it doesn't take much to please a girl. press pause on the play station. it won't take long, she'll make whatever she has to say quick as a thank you for your actions... and, you'll most likely get laid as an added bonus ;)

inter-car communication

not for the first time i've thought it would be so handy to have a screen on the top of my car (much like the cops do) that you could type messages to your fellow road users from the safety of the drivers seat (no useless arrows and RBT messages here).

you could have a list of programmed 'frequently used' messages, kinda like speed dial. Mine would be...

1. Where's my thank you wave A##HOLE?!?
2. Speed camera's do NOT mean you do 15k's under the speed limit!
3. Get the F#CK out of my way
4. Hi... can I please get in front of you *batts eye lashes* (it would obviously need moving pictures)
5. Hey you in the *insert car here* my number is 041. ... ... (and an edit function)

and of course you'd have to be able to create any message you want. along with a couple of the above, today alone i would have been able to use the following...

- creepy guy in the green ute... stop following me, i do NOT think you're cute!
^^ no joke! this guy would slow down so that he would be driving beside me, stop with 3 car lengths in front so that he could pose for me at the lights and then after i fell behind by not going through an orange light (SO not an accident) he pulled over into a side street further up until i came by and then was mouthing to me 'where are you going?'.... moving on

- you guys in the van behind me... the feathers hanging from your rearview mirror make me scared your going to scalp me and take it back to your elder, he who runs with the river, as a trophy. your freakin me out man!!!

and of course the early morning bitchy message

- hey you, 17 yr old blonde in the blue mazda that thinks she's pretty... i can see you're completely distracted by your own reflection, but if you don't start actually using that car for something like, oh i don't know... DRIVING as apposed to a device to be seen in (and possibly getting your tramp ass from pimp A to B) then i'm gonna....

and i can't actually think of a threat that would be fitting enough for her... although that probably wouldn't matter cos she would still be trying to sound the words out.

hmmm... we might have to work on a word limit for it to be effective. but still. a good idea for all you car manufacturers out there!!!

idea copyrighted by rock the kazbar

since you brought it up....

CONES baby... CONES!!!

my latest t.v obsessions...

1. without a doubt is Grey's Anatomy... so special it even got the correct punctuation. while watching this show i become the most insane, can't even miss the first 10 seconds, have to have the sound blasting so as not to miss a word, if your talking to me during an ad break and it comes back on i'll cut you off mid-sentence, if you dare to speak whilst it's not an ad break i'll tear your arms from your body and ram one down your throat and the other up your ass so that they interlock in the middle and can't be extracted... kinda person. in short, i'm scary.

i fell in love with Denny and would quite happily have lots of sex and babies with him. I think Izzy is unbelievably hot and would quite happily have lots of sex and adopt babies with her, hehehe. the show makes me want to move to Seattle, ride ferry boats and work in the hospital with them all. it's weird.. i know. but i'm aware of my illness.

2. i tossed up which show makes it into this spot for a second i'll admit but Prison break takes second place. it's still special, but not AS special as Grey's Anatomy so it only gets one capital letter. check me out withholding punctuation like it's sex and you've done something wrong.

i'll admit season 2 isn't as good as season 1 but i still love it and still can't miss an episode. he is so hot with all his smouldering, shaved headed-ness and tattoo's... and then he looks at you with those piercing eyes... oh yeah... that man is sex.

3. taking third place is the biggest loser. i love watching fat people cry and work out whilst surrounded by hot trainers. i'm backing Damo this season. the guy is so sweet and has such a great heart (apart from all the atherosclerosis he must have) i would date him even if he is 200 kilos. he deserves to be there till the end and take home the money in one arm and a hot chick who'll treat him well in the other. GO DAMO!!!!