you've gotta laugh

ok... so yesterday it was just a normal morning at work (i manage a video store), A had been in to visit, i've fed poppet our pet fish, M (the owner) has left for the day already, i'm happily occupying myself when every stunt customer decided my store was a good place to be right now. i call them stunt customers because they are pretending to be normal people when in fact they are far far far from normal and were put on this earth purely to challange my patients.

{stunt 1} how much is it for a new release today?
{me} $1.95, today we have a special where everything in-store is $1.95 to rent.
{stunt 1} even the overnight ones?
{me} yes, everything!

a few moment later.....

{stunt 1} so how much if i want a game then?
{me} *thinking* you %$#*ing idiot... everything EVERYTHING!!! did you get dropped on your head as a baby??? no! well I did and i'm still smarter than you!
{me} *saying* the games are also $1.95, everything is $1.95. dvd's, games, videos, overnight, 3/night, weekly... anything you would like to hire.

customer walks around for a while and i'm thinking they've gotten the picture, finally they approach the counter with 3 items in-hand.

{stunt 1} is that 3 for $9 deal still on?
{me} *trying to smile* every other day yes, but it is actually cheaper for me to charge you at todays $1.95 deal as these 3 would come to $5.85.
{stunt 1} oh thats pretty good, i'll do that then!
{me} *thinking* GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!
{me} *saying* thank you, have a nice day.

random lady walks in off the street in a business suit, she looks professional and smart.. pffft

{stunt 2} *pointing to the drink fridge... FRIDGE* are they cold?
{me} *thinking* no you idiot we just think they look pretty in that funny little box thing!
{me} *saying* yes they should be, if your concerned just grab one and check its cold enough for you. (you know, the logical thing to do)
{stunt 2} oh they are *stupid smile*
{me} *thinking* who'd have thought
{me} *saying* that'll be $1.70 thanks.

middle aged gentleman would like to become a member

{me} ok now we'll need a password for your account.
{stunt 3} password?
{me} yes, everytime you'd like to rent you'll need to give us your card and we ask you for your password to make sure it's you using the card. its for your security in case you lose the card.
{stunt 3} oh
{me} so what would you like it to be?
{stunt 3} what?
{me} your password, what would you like it to be?
{stunt 3} i don't understand.

realising his english didn't go as far as the word password and noticing the massive line of customers queing behind this guy, seeing as though he has an eftpos card i try something else.

{me} just like you have a pin number to use your eftpos card. you need a number or word to use your video card. you need to tell me what you'd like that to be.
{stunt 3} i'm not giving you my pin number!
{me} *gives up* ok, i'm going to make your password your last name. so when you come in and we ask you what your password is, you say KIM.
{stunt 3} *laughs nervously*
{me} so when i say password, you say KIM. *feeling like im at a hip hop concert.. when i say password you say KIM... password KIM password KIM... when i say hey you say HO.. hey HO hey HO*
{stunt 3} ok

all of that so he can get his $1.95 porn

i'm off to work now... its $1 weekly day...